#UnwantedIvanka

Illustration by Scott Shields
Written by T. LeMonde

On June 30th of 2019, President Donald Trump took it upon himself to be the first U.S. president to step through the Demilitarized Zone, and onto North Korean soil to meet with Kim Jong Un. But it wasn’t just Donald who took a trip to Panmunjom that Sunday morn. Along with the U.S. president came his most trusted adviser, Ivanka.

Only a few days before this historic meet and greet, Ivanka was also seen at the G20 summit in Japan, commingling with party goers and discussing complex issues such as the “defense side” and the male dominated “whole system”. As the summit proceeded, a formal photo was taken. She was the only non-leader in it.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I’m pretty sure Ivanka Trump will be running for president in 2024, and boy oh boy, will all those pictures be good campaign material.

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Salute to America, or: Planes, Tanks & Automobiles

Illustration by Scott Shields
Written by T. LeMonde

Join us at the National Mall for snacks and a beautiful view of the life sized diorama that eerily resembles the Tiananmen Square Tank Man, and listen to the magnificent howls of all of Washington’s dog population as fighter jets roar overhead.

The Fourth of July is a day meant to commemorate the rise of the world’s greatest nation. It’s about celebrating America and their defeat over the invasive alien species, The Brits. A day dedicated to fireworks, drinking beer and wiping barbecue sauce stained mouths on red, white and blue serviettes.

But if you ask me, this celebration is growing old.

As the years pass, I find myself unable to enjoy the hullabaloo of spending quality time with family and friends. I’m no longer interested in all the lights and the noise, and honestly, I’m no longer interested in America.

So this year, I’m changing it up!

This Fourth of July, I’ve decided not to celebrate America, but Instead, the man who EMBODIES America.

The man who made this ALL possible;

Donald Trump.

 

*A little about the image: This was one of the first illustrations published on the blog. Originally created for his inauguration on January 20th, 2017, it depicts Hillary Clinton driving Trump’s carriage, pulled by two donkeys that look very similar to Meryl Streep and Bernie Sanders.

Much like the day of his swearing in as leader of the free world, we celebrate this man.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Cry Babies

Illustration by Daniela Casas

An illustration based on an article featured in the New York Times, written by Maggie Haberman and Michael D. Shear. The article is about Donald Trump passing an executive law to protect free speech, but only to the benefit of Republican opinions.

Read the article here.

Intagram: @danicasas_illustrator
Portfolio: www.danicasas.com

Cry me a River

Illustration by Scott Shields
Written by T. LeMonde

On May 24th of 2019, failed Margaret Thatcher impersonator, Theresa May, announced her resignation as British prime minister. Previously believed to be due to her unsuccessful Brexit negotiations, in an interview after her heartfelt speech, she took time to sit down with Trump le Monde Inc. to explain why she relinquished her position.

I’m smart! I’m evil!” she whined as her eyes welled with tears. “So why don’t I have protest songs written about ME?”

Pull Back the Curtains

Illustration by Scott Shields
Written by T. LeMonde

Politicians don’t care for your wellbeing, or that of your fetus.

But, you mustn’t be so selfish in regards to the anti-abortion bills currently being passed in 8 states, including Alabama, Georgia and Missouri.

As seen in the picture circulating Facebook and Instagram of the 25 male State Senators who voted in favour of the “Alabama Human Life Protection Act”, it is obvious that their once youthful glow has faded, leaving them looking old and disfigured.

These politicians are growing ill from feeding on the undesirables; prostitutes, homeless and disabled. They desperately need the nutrients found only in the blood of a young child, and who are you to deny them this? Should we risk the lives of these centuries old men and women, or are your lives and the lives of your children more important?

A silly thing to compare but as long as abortion is an option, these historic figures will most definitely perish, taking with them the knowledge, money and power achieved only through living hundreds, possibly thousands, of years.

 

It is time to throw away Roe vs. Wade for an older script. Be gone with your notions of respect, equality and personal health, and accept your role as baby farm; producer not of children, but of cattle. Step through the curtains that shield you from this bright future. Embrace the spotlight as you recite the words to “Yo Te Amo Mamá” by Esteban Bullrich. Clearly, passionately.

Yo te amo ganadería.

Our masters will feast well once more!